Perfectly Flawed

To those of you still keeping up with my perfectly flawed life, thank you, I'm grateful to you for taking the time out of your day to read what I have to say. I’m grateful that my writing touches people the way it does, and I am beyond thankful to the support I’ve received from doing something I’m so beyond passionate about. Speaking of being passionate, and grateful, I decided that now is the perfect time to write this post about being gay, coming out, and all of the stigma associated with it.  I think we can agree that being anything beyond straight is socially acceptable to the vast majority of us, it is something that has become normality and people have accepted the fact that we aren't all born on the earth to be heterosexuals…thankfully. Although, despite it being socially acceptable, it’s not entirely culturally acceptable, for many, peoples cultures and religions prevent them from being who they are, some cultures encourage homosexuality to be portrayed as a sinful...

The world around us is becoming more and more obsessive over having this picture perfect life, our distorted versions of a perfect reality are being broadcasted for everybody to see. It’s hard to keep up with the growing demands of this society and fitting in just enough to stand out, yet stay ‘normal’ at the same time. A big part of staying ‘normal’ is pretending as though you have your shit together, when in reality, the world beneath you is falling apart. The hardest part about living in the society that we do, is that judgement is at its peak, criticism is everywhere, and stigma is ruling our conscience. How can we fit into a world where everything is a facade of the dark reality we are all living?  For a few years, I have experienced how it feels to live with mental health issues, and how crippling it can be for your physical health and your mind. The peak of my poor mental health was during my A-levels. Not only was there such pressure to achieve the best, but my persona...

When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see? Do you love the person staring back at you? For the most part, the only thing staring back at you, are your flaws, the scars on your body you wish you never had to look at. You gaze at your reflection and ask yourself “who on earth will love me, if I can’t even love me?”. You say to yourself that you'd be more beautiful if you were skinnier, more curvaceous, taller, smaller, more tanned, more pale, had cheekbones, had no cheekbones. You convince yourself that what you are is not good enough, your reflection is gazing back at you, longing to be loved, longing to be appreciated. You ask yourself “why can’t I be beautiful, why can’t I love what I see?” Insecurity affects us all at some point in our lives. Whether it be a small thing that you can hardly notice, or something huge that you fixate on constantly, there will be imperfections that you find so difficult to admire. You feel this constant anxiety of fearing that other ...

I decided to write my first blog about something that has had a significant impact on my life, my first love, and everything that caused it to end, unwillingly.  I have been quite open about my sexuality and my sexual interests ever since I came out as gay, and I was always clear on what I was interested in, typically, straight boys (a.k.a.every gay boys “type”). I came out in 2017, and was new to the whole dating boys thing. I wont get into the ins and outs of it all, but I met this guy,’him,he’. I won’t reveal his name, for privacy reasons, but he was a significant part of my life.  I met him in school, he was pretending to be straight (as most ‘masculine’ gay boys tend to do), and I found it even sexier that he was hiding such a huge secret, little did I know, this was one of his most toxic traits. He and I would talk all day, every day. He gave me them butterflies that you never want to stop feeling, he gave me the attention I was missing, the attention I was need...

So, in an introduction I am expected to introduce myself and the reason behind why I chose to create this blog right?  Well, my name is Kieran, and I feel like I'm doing nothing useful with my life, so I thought why not create a blog to discuss my experiences, my thoughts and just let it be a place for me to rant about things and give you an insight into my perfectly flawed life.  I want to share with you my good moments, my bad moments, my opinions and my advice, in hope that somebody who is in need, stumbles across this and realises they are not alone. In hope that by sharing my experiences, my struggles and my journey, it will help somebody, who isn't quite there yet, realise that there is more to what you’re feeling, there is something so perfect within your imperfections, it is all about the perspective.  I have considered writing a blog for some time now, probably since around 2017. I wanted to have a platform where I could share how I was feeling, yet,...